Indian Fusion Cuisine in Portland and Tucson
Ruchikala Presents: mini-Lessons in supperclub etiquette
(How to not act like a complete and total spaz at your local supperclub)
Rule#1: Try not to act like a crazed tourist and take a billion pictures of everything with your measly point and shoot.
Rule #2: Don’t get too distracted by your Gung Hay Fat Choy green tea rum cocktail and deliciously indulgent and flakey spring onion pancake. Do not lose yourself in pickled fennel baby carrots. Do take a minute to absorb the ambiance. Remember to divide balcony fantasy time equally between the Catherine Zeta Jones a la Zorro balcony scene and the modern day desi-version of Repunzel, where a delightfully handsome Bing climbs up your hair to rescue you from…. comfort’s distress?
Rule #3: When arriving at your immaculately presented table created by Lori (or as Lilly affectionately calls her “The sustainable Martha Stewart”) – refrain from pocketing everything off the table and running out the door in a mad fit. It makes you look desperate and uncivilized. Just take a minute to take in the paper effigies, lanterns, plating ware and….
~gasp~ What’s this?!
Does that gold wrapping indicate a chocolate bar inside? Don’t panic. I’m sure it’s just a run of the mill, store bought chocolate bar. I’m sure it’s not a home made Chinese five-spice chocolate bar that’s been molded into the shape that in one word will aptly characterize your evening.
Rule #4: When being offered the house smoked lapsong souchong porter by resident brewer Christian, it is important to respond with a calm nonchalance. Remember – beer brewing does not intimidate you. Act like your fridge is just teeming with small-batch brewed Chinese tea smoked ales.
Rule #5: Don’t take pictures of your ridiculously attractive blogger and chef friends while they’re trying to enjoy their meal – they are used to paparazzi on their tails and would appreciate a night off.
Rule#6: When seated at your table with local urban farmers – refrain from asking them for their autograph. Remember they’re people just like you. Just thank them politely for producing MIZUNA THAT YOU DREAM ABOUT AT NIGHT and then go about the rest of your meal with care.
Rule#7: When coming across Sara’s house cured wild Alaskan salmon rolls, don’t be a lens hog. Your fellow tablemates are resisting the urge to lick the communal plate while you fail to do the plate justice with your built in camera flash. (Also -try to remain seated at your table instead of bribing the fishermen and women that caught it at the table next to you to be your salmon source).
Rule #8: When coming across the calamondin with grapefruit and Campari ice palate cleanser – of course the base is candied and edible. Make sure to acknowledge to your partner that the small and piquant citrus is wearing an equally small and piquant little hat and follow it up with a cute noise. (Any noise resembling the sound of Mario getting on and off Yoshi is acceptable.)
But most importantly…
Rule #9: When the Szechwan pepper Ice cream with burnt miso butterscotch in a five spice sesame tuile arrives:
DO allow your sockets to well up with tears.
Remember what it felt like the first time you fell in love.
Cling to all that is eternal and embrace the life moments that flash before your eyes.
It is life reuniting you with love.
Tucson doesn’t need a French Laundry – … And Be Merry fills the void.
To Sara, Lori, and Christian – Thank you.